Whenever I tell people I get panic attacks and have social anxiety, I usually get the same confused look. I get it. People assume that if your job puts you in the public eye, you must be totally chill in front of people. But as most of us (hopefully) know by now: generalizations are like expired coupons—best left unused.
The Performer in Me
Growing up, I was a full-time performer and part-time neighborhood filmmaker. I’d put on plays for my family, hijack the family camcorder, and shoot cinematic masterpieces (read: chaotic short films) in the park across the street. Performing wasn’t just a hobby—I knew I needed to do it.
By high school, I dove headfirst into choir and theater. And when college rolled around, I knew I wanted to pursue the arts. But right around that time, anxiety decided to crash the party—uninvited, unannounced, and very much unwelcome.
When Passion Meets Panic
For a while, I thought I had to give up performing altogether. It was heartbreaking. How could something I loved so deeply suddenly feel like a threat? It felt like being gifted a beautiful car… with no keys.
But then I found radio. And therapy. (Highly recommend both, by the way.) I started learning how to live with my anxiety instead of letting it drive the car. It didn’t mean the anxiety disappeared—it just meant I stopped letting it call all the shots.
Anxiety Is Glitter
Anxiety, I’ve learned, is kind of like glitter. It sticks around, shows up when you least expect it, and no matter how much you try to get rid of it, there’s always a little bit left. But once you accept that, you can figure out how to work with it instead of against it.
Do It Anyway
So if there’s something you want to do—something that lights you up—but anxiety is whispering, “Nope, not today,” I say: do it anyway. It might be uncomfortable. It might be awkward. You might sweat in places you didn’t know could sweat. But you’ll be proud you tried. And more often than not, it won’t be nearly as bad as your brain made it out to be.
Keep calm and dance on.
(Even if your hands are shaking.)
—Rocki
